It seems, very often, there comes a point that we get fed up and we say, enough is enough, it is time to make some changes. This is actually a good place to be. The energy of being fed up can be the fuel that motivates us to make some serious, much needed changes in our lives. Though I feel it’s worth noting…while being fed up can motivate us and invoke a feeling of determination, without discipline and daily introspection, we can find ourselves retreating to the behaviors that no longer serve us. (Slightly confusing sentence) It can be easy to lose some of the momentum that we had when we were so gung ho about making changes in our lives.
In order to make lasting change, I encourage you to start talking to yourself as you would a best friend or the love of your life. Love yourself enough to make peace with any unsettledness from the past, so you have room to embrace the present and allow new energy to come into your life.
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.
- Jan Glidewell
Simply allow yourself to fall in love with you. If you’re finding this difficult, simply start placing the intention to do so. Give this little mantra a try or create your own:
I intend to love myself unconditionally and to give myself praise. I intend to be patient with myself. I intend to speak to myself in an encouraging, gentle, nurturing way.
While these intentions are almost sounding like vows at a wedding, I would like to encourage you to do just that, get married to yourself. Like any wedding there are preparations:
Write out your vows to yourself. I vow to honor myself and respect myself, etc. Take some quiet time and really think about what’s important to you. Maybe look at where you have been hard on yourself and create a vow to help heal that. Keep the list of your vows and post them on a vision board or keep them in your wallet, choose a place where you can re-read them often.
Buy yourself a ring, or some token that you can keep with you always, to remind yourself of the commitment you have made to yourself. A commitment of love. Pure, divine love.
Pick a special place, maybe the ocean or a private place in nature, or maybe inside your home surrounded by candles and flowers. Just be sure you feel comfortable and are dedicated to this special, powerful ceremony.
Read your vows aloud or to yourself, with devotion and sincerity. Like any wedding, this time signifies a new beginning and represents great love and commitment.
You may decide to re-marry yourself every year or so. Have fun with it and be sure to celebrate this new relationship with yourself. Treat yourself to something you love, get a massage or another healing treatment. Just be sure to do something special for you. Give yourself permission to take care of you and fill your cup, not just on this special occasion, but often. Maybe make this one of the vows to yourself, to do something special for yourself from time to time.
My dear friend, Dr. Paul Dugliss, has written a wonderful book called, Capturing the Bliss: Ayurveda & the Yoga of Emotions, in it he states:
“Mired in false concepts, we misconstrue love with self-sacrifice. If we truly sacrifice the Self, we crucify love itself. Love comes out of fullness, not emptiness. The sacred books of India called the Upanishads say this: ‘That is full; this is full. From fullness, fullness comes out. Taking fullness from fullness, what remains is fullness.’”
The more you fill yourself with love, the more you can love others. Fall in love with yourself and then allow that love to then be extended to those close to you and ultimately the world and the universe. Allow the fullness of your love to come out. The powerful energy of love can sustain the positive changes that you see for yourself and it will help you commit to those changes.